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Favour Olusola: KITCHEN SILVERWARE: WHERE DO SPOONS AND FORKS VANISH TO?

Some supervillain must have activated the mysterious five-stone Gauntlet by snapping his fingers, causing half of all kitchen silverware to vanish within a specific period, or how do you explain missing spoons and forks in the house and the workspace? 

Kate was quite clueless about what was happening, but she was sure she had bought 3 dozens of kitchen silverware; plates, spoons, and forks. However, the inventory seemed to be saying a different thing, a couple of missing plates, cups, and only 10 cutleries left in just 3 months! 

Many thoughts raced through her mind, could it be that Stella, her roommate was keeping the silverware in her possession? Was there some sort of silverware apocalypse? Was there a giant magnet sucking them away? Are there unseen spirits that need silverwares to regenerate more energy? Whatever this unimaginable phenomenon is, there just has to be a logical explanation of how spoons and forks disappear. 

If your mum has not asked you where the spoons and forks in the house are, you can put your hands down. If you have never had to serve the family, only to realize you are short on cutlery, your hands down as well. Have you had to sacrifice your spoon for someone older in the house or collect your younger one’s own to eat? 

If you have had to use your hand to eat while no one was watching in the house, you are a legend! One last thing, if you have never been blamed for missing spoons and forks, you must be the coolest child.

Missing silverwares and the strange mannerism of their disappearance from the workplace, and the kitchen is a phenomenon almost everyone can relate to, including you. Perhaps, it should be dubbed the 8th wonder of the world. For something strange, this repeated occurrence is almost normal to our lives, and quite unspoken of, hence this article. 

Let us investigate whose magical gauntlet had mystically dematerialized our precious kitchen silverware and provide explanations for their sudden disappearance. 

  • Things Are Simply Against Us

Although humans bask in the euphoria of the idea of being in control of all things, that may not be the case as inanimate objects can be rebels. A counter phenomenological resistentialism prism holds that Les choses sont contre nous (things are against us). 

Resistentialism is the belief that inanimate objects are naturally hostile to humans, and therefore it is not people who control things but things that increasingly control people. 

While it is preposterous to assert that kitchen silverware can exert any influence over humans, TheBMJ’s study suggests that their demonstrated ability to migrate and disappear shows that we have little or no control over them. You do not think your wares and valuables get tired of being used, do you? 

  • Kitchen Silverware Carelessness is a Thing

If you would rather eat in your room than at the dining table, you are one of the problems!  No matter how hard you try to feign ignorance and saintliness, you know you are sometimes guilty of leaving out the plates, spoons, and forks hiding in your rooms without returning them to the kitchen. This is how they get missing.

If you find them later, they may be unusable, consequently reducing the number of kitchen utensils. 

  • Children May Be Responsible 

If you house children, they may be just the reason you have missing silverware. Children can frustrate your efforts in keeping your spoons and forks when they do not return the ones they took to school the previous day. For parents, not until they have their kids away from home when they are grown, they may keep losing kitchen silverware. 

  • Spoons and Forks Have Legs

Maybe not for a spoon that has just a small, shallow oval depth, but for a fork’s four thin toes there is no better way to prove this point. For all we know, while you are asleep, your fork could slip itself into the kitchen sink to be washed when next you are doing the dishes or can as well hide to avoid being used.

  • Office Thieves Exist

Truth is, there are silverware thieves in the workplace and they can be the culprits behind missing cutlery. A survey on office workers reveals 38 percent of respondents admitted they had stolen cutlery in possession. So your closest pal at work is a suspect when you find out your cutlery is missing. 

The sudden disappearance of kitchen silverware is not so mysterious, except of course when they choose to be rebels. No gauntlet or supervillain is causing the disappearance of spoons and forks and everyone is a suspect when cutleries get missing. Next time, when you are looking for your missing comb that you already tucked into your hair or the phone in your pocket, remember resistentialism is a thing. 

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6 Comments

  1. Favour Olusola

    One step at a time, they go far away from the other dishes. They really do have legs. Lol
    Thanks for reading!

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