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Adefolake: Is beauty really pain?

My birthday is in a couple of weeks, July to be precise in case you were considering getting me Bitcoin or a gold bar….wink. And looking back now, I am trying to figure out who told me ‘beauty is pain’ because I definitely know it is not my mother who loves to dress in a comfortable yet elegant manner. So who lied to me? Who told me I have to be in a snatched (tight) dress? There is nothing wrong with wearing fitted clothes but please I want to breathe. Who told me I had to be on makeup always to cover “blemishes”? Who told me false nails with acrylic are a must, especially with my kind of nails which break inside? Why can’t I just wrap my own natural nails with acrylic and use gel nail polish?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with some of these things, even as a Christian but is the pain necessary, and what is the end goal? Who is the tight clothing for? Trust me men do not care about these things, it is usually the whack ones that focus on appearances. I remember immediately after arriving from a trip, I got home dropped off my luggage, and went straight to the nail salon to take off the false nails because my nails had broken inside and I was in pain. I am also reminded of the time I wore a dress so snatched (tight), that I had to hold on to a chair or a table to get up. I could barely eat and spent half of the time praying the zip would not rip open because my breathing felt restricted.

This brings me back to my initial question, must beauty really be pain? Trust me, this is not me trying to win anyone to my side. No, I have not completely figured it out as once in a while I still fall into the trap of “beauty is pain” but I must say I have outgrown certain kinds of discomfort. One I finally let go of during the pandemic was Weave Extensions, trust me I tried. Bone straight, curly, braids; tried it all but within a week or two, my hair was back to an unrecognizable state because of the speed in which my hair grows. Wigs are a no no for me as I am opposed to the idea of having two different looks within two minutes. I was left with two options, cut my hair or do locks; not 100% convinced about the locks but I definitely know it is far better than the hair extensions.

My Spiritual Mother, Prophetess Beverly Angel wore a beautiful loose brown gown as she preached during an evening service watched in almost all the countries of the world. Thank God she decided to greet everyone tuning in before she started preaching because I would not have heard anything. I spent the first five minutes not only admiring this outfit but most importantly upset with myself. Thinking of all the times I wore what I wasn’t comfortable in because I wanted to feel among or belong. I mean this woman is a Prophet of God, and the Ambassador’s wife (to 85 countries), has branches of the ministry in every continent with hundreds and hundreds of branches. Before you say but she is a woman of God, that is how she should dress, then you definitely do not know her. Your favourite celebrity’s closet does not come close, trust me, she is money and style walking. But if there is one thing I have noticed about her dress sense she goes for what the Holy Spirit loves, what her husband (Prophet) likes, and importantly what she is comfortable in.

If the nails and weaves do not get in your way, that is fine but do not lie about the tight clothing. You are not comfortable sister, we know this. Some dresses require two people to zip them, please breathe. You literally have to use one hand to hold the long slit together because you can feel your leg completely exposed and some men are now looking like they want you for lunch. I intentionally left heels out of this conversation because women love their heels but please do not break your leg if you are not used to them. And if you cannot wear it for long, keep your flat close by, your weight actually matters in this subject.

In closing, my question remains, must beauty be pain?

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